I’m so excited to share today’s guest post from Kamiel Jackson, my beautiful-hearted sister-in-love (aka sister-in-law) and friend. Her open letter to her children is full of wisdom and heart, and I know it will encourage you. If you’re a parent, I think you’ll see yourself in her words, too.
Good morning, my babies!
If there is one thing I want you both to remember, it is this: life is much harder when you fight against all that God has called you to be and do in this world. It ain’t popular, or cute, or “normal.” I tried it the way that you both may be facing. It DID NOT work!
I was stubborn, unteachable, and insistent on being like everyone else but those who lived for Christ. Because those who lived for Christ seemed hypocritical. I expected them to look just like Christ. I didn’t know that to look like Him is a goal that NO ONE achieves—though they can come close. So I chose to be what I thought was “regular.”
Being this world’s “regular” made me miserable, lonely, shameful, fearful, hopeless, and isolated from those who truly loved me. I was always trying to mask these feelings with humor, alcohol, drugs, and sex. Yeah—I thought that just believing in Christ was enough. IT WAS NOT! I was still miserable, lonely, living paycheck to paycheck, and feeling hopeless.
The change I had to make was an internal one. It involved me reading the Bible for myself. What did the Bible say about me, about having peace, about endurance, about self-control, about hope? I didn’t want to be one of those “holy rollers.” I didn’t want to hear from believing family members or these other “so-called” Christians. I just wanted to know enough to get by.
Well, life’s disappointments had me running to the Lord. You hear me? Running! It started in 2013, when we moved back to West Philly. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and humbled—not so much by the city, but by the idea that I was back where it all started, and I had promised myself I wouldn’t be in that position again. Through prayer, reading the Bible, and fellowshipping with like-minded people, I found the strength to keep going.
Was I sold out to the Lord? No. I was hypocritical. I had one foot in God and one foot doing it my way. Every time I made a change, there was another trapdoor to past behaviors. The final call came on January 12, 2017. For this event to happen at our house, in front of you both, I knew I had reached the lowest of lows. I felt like I had let y’all down and lost all respect from you. I had failed my job of protecting you, and now I was exposed as a “real” failure.
BUT GOD! He is a rewarder to those who diligently seek Him.
I realize that my time of training you both in the things of God is coming to an end. But I need everything I tried to say to you while under my care to be in writing—because you can never say that I didn’t forewarn you. I want you not to be deceived by the things of this world. It looks regular, “normal,” or cute, but it is a lie and a trap. The enemy is trying to set you up!
And the only way you will know this to be true is either to study and believe God’s Word or to experience it for yourself—willingly. I pray you choose wisely.
I love you both so much, and I pray that the Lord will be merciful and gracious to you as you figure out life with Jesus.
Loving you the best I can,
Mom
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